Day of No Sleep

I can't sleep. I've come to realize that this happens when I'm under extreme stress. I rarely sleep anymore.

I first began to suspect when I'd stay up all night before doctor's appointment, but now? Now I am 100% sure. With a paper due that needs to be in between 8-10 pages that I haven't even started I feel time pushing down on me... and sleep elude me. I toss and turn, sometimes for hours, and burst into tears at the least provocation. There is much more personal matters in my life, not just school, that contribute, but I'd rather not speak of them. However, this may be the best place to speak of them. For the people who read my blog are mere acquaintances and do not know the parties involved. So what care they if my marriage is in utter ruins and I have no friends to really speak of?

I have tried my hardest to live my life as God would want me to. I have fallen more than once and, make no mistake, I will most likely blunder again, but still I try to live a pure life. I'm honest to a fault, I treat everyone equally, would help a complete stranger in need, and still I have no one who really stands by me and loves me. Sure my kids do, but they are young and I'm no longer disillusioned into believing they will love me forever. No one does. I don't know what is so wrong with me and no one can tell me. Some say I act stuck-up, but I don't see it myself. I try to see myself from others views, but I still don't see it. Yes, I don't have much sympathy for those who've made their own beds, and my honesty can be rather harsh at times, but I will love you and be there for you through thick and thin, no matter who you are. If that isn't the epitome of friendship I don't know what is!

I'm just feeling really lonely, depressed, and disparaging this holiday season. :( Sorry for bringing anyone down with me.

Day of OH CRAP!

It's really becoming crunch time as both my classes are winding down and I have two research papers due. I almost forgot to do this blog!

Research papers have never been my strong suit and I'm beginning to worry that I may not get a passing grade on either. :-( I had trouble with just the rough draft on one paper. I kept hitting the wall of What in the world have I missed? and This isn't long enough; what can I elaborate on? I can't wait for my professor's feedback on my paper. I hope that I didn't do as poorly as I feel I did. I'm really stressing over these papers and no amount of deep breaths is calming me down!!!!!

Day of Many Surprises

So last Wednesday I had an appointment with my pulmonologist and boy did I get a work out! First off, there is no close parking in Germany. You take a bus or are prepared to walk. I get motion sickness so I opt to walk. After walking the half mile to the hospital I then have to go up 2 floors to my doctor's office. I arrive there for them to tell me to go all the way back down to the 1st floor so I can have a lab done. I do that then return to the doctor. My EKG was abnormal so I now need to go up to the 5th floor to have an echo done and they also want me to do the lung resiliency test. I get up there and have the lung test done but the cardio doctor is out for the day. I then travel back down to the 3rd floor to finally see my doctor.
After waiting around 30 minutes, an emergency case came in that took my spot and I was rescheduled to see the doctor. So a traverse down the stairs once more, then walk a half mile to my parked car. I still have more errands to do so I head to Spangdahlem to finish them. On my way there I witnessed a high speed chase on one of Germany's very curvy, and very narrow, roads. It was none other than base security chasing the fiends! (Meaning that the chase was most likely after suspected terrorists).
I get to the Spang Post Office and carry my 40 pound package that I need to mail to my family. Talk about a workout! And my errands did not stop there! I then had to go grocery shopping as we were out of food and the chitlens were hungry.
I finally made it home around 7:30 PM to realize I'd missed my class, AGAIN! Ugg! I much rather of attended class then doing the Option 2, but things happen and we lose track of time. :-( O, well!

Day of the Longest Week EVER!

This week has been absolutely insane! First, I missed my first class of the week by accident, then when I went to long into the class, my Internet was out! We have only 1 car, my husband works odd ball hours and I don't even know how to use the phone! What does this all add up to? Our Internet being out for 3 almost 4 days, and getting way behind in my classes.

To make matters go from bad to worse, I can't find my school book needed for an assignment. AHHH!!!! Now I'm pressing on the end of the week and I still have 2 things due in my class. What am I to do? This has just been a really bad week.

Did I mention my dryer has been broken too? Oh I didn't? Well it has! I've had no dryer and it's freezing outside and my house doesn't have good enough circulation for our clothes to dry right. Having a 4 year old whom is just learning to sleep without Pull-ups and a 3 year old little boy who finds dirt in the unlikeliest of places, this week has been Hell! If any more goes wrong, I'll be bald.