Day of the German Doctor

OK, so I'm not new to going to the doctor. There's something wrong, you're in pain, you go to the doctor. That's fine, unless you've just moved to a new country! I really wish I'd done some cultural research now before going to my pulmonologist appointment!

Background: Somewhere around February 2009, I went to my local ER at Malcolm Grow Medical Center, Andrews AFB, MD for a cold. I knew it was a cold, but I really just needed that proof that I was sick to take back to my employer. The staff was very thorough and did a chest X-ray. A few weeks later, I get a call saying the X-ray was abnormal and I need a CT scan done. A couple of months later, I have a CT done with contrast (a radioactive dye that kicks my butt and makes me sick for days afterward). The test came back inconclusive (meaning they couldn't tell if it was cancer or not), so I was sent to a pulmonologist (lung specialist).

The pulmonologist did some lung resiliency tests but said, due to my age and overall appearance of health, he would not do a lung biopsy. He said it was most likely lung sarcoidosis, but that another CT scan should be performed to make sure there was no growth (which would be an indicator of cancer). He then informed me that if it was cancer I would be too far along for anything to be done and sent me on my way. Needless to say, I was petrified!

Many months later (about 4 months) and a move to Germany brought me to where this blog began: my appointment with a German pulmonologist. I went in there not knowing what to expect, scared, and a little cowed by my surroundings. Those feelings didn't last long. I was still very nervous, but my doctor was extremely pleasant and calmed me as much as he could, considering. That was until... He told me to take off my shirt!

Now I know for many that wouldn't be a big deal. "Sure!" you'd say as the doctor or nurse handed you a sheet and left the room for privacy. No; not the Germans. They stay in the room with you and there is no sheet! LOL My male doctor literally stood like a foot away while I tore my shirt off. Being an American, this was an experience! And, idiot that I am, I had taken my husband who was all but falling on the floor laughing at my mortification!

And to be the jerk that my hubby is, he decided to take the closed umbrella he was holding, place it between his legs, and then hit the button that causes the umbrella to eject. I could have killed him in that moment! Now I was trying not to laugh and take deep breaths as the doctor asked. To make matters worse, I have an extremely fast heart rate. The doctor hearing this puts a hand on his hip and proceeds to say "Am I making you nervous?" As if being asked to strip down and still being stripped down weren't embarrassing enough!!

All in all, a very interesting day. I made appointments to see my doctor again, do another lung resiliency test, and now an EKG. Oh and while pressing on my stomach, the doctor found something he didn't like, so if it is still like that on my next visit... I'll be having a colonoscopy at the ripe old age of 22!

LOL What a day!